Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
