i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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