1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
