She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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