She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
