i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
