The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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