he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
