Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
