just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
