I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize