There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
