We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
