do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
