so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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