OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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