did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
