So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
