Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there was a trapeze. enough said
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
