So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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