Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
