Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
