Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
