i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
