Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
