its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
