Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
