Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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