he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
