Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
