I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
