did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
