That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
