I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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