just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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