Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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