Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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