oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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