you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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