my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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