I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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