thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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