discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
fuck your aforementioned shoe
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
