Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
