Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
