i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
