Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
