In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Less talking, more tequila
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
