When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
