Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
