The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
