OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
